War Makes Beasts of us All
by bakedpotatocat

CHAPTER SEVEN: EXAMINATION

==> Be Kanaya Maryam.

You knock on the door to your wife’s office, holding a dinner tray set for two. She’s been holed up there for days, ever since Vriska Serket crashed to Earth C, killed Gamzee Makara-Crocker, and changed the state of the war dramatically. Rose doesn’t answer, but the door isn’t locked, so you let yourself in. Rose is leaning back in a stuffed chair, mopping her forehead idly with a damp towel. The walls are strung up with purple yarn connecting what must be hundreds of reports and sticky notes, all trying to keep track of the changing political situation and potential futures.

KANAYA: Rose

ROSE: … definitively on the west coast of the troll kingdom, that could prompt a response from Crocker, and trick her into exposing the heart of her political base…

You set the tray down on a stack of discarded reports on her desk, looking at two of the central pieces in her web of ideas, annotated in purple marker. ‘CROCKER VULNERABLE’ is one, and ‘JUGGALORATOR DECEASED – CONVERTS?’ is the other. You won’t pretend to know why exactly those are crucial keystones to a good future, but you get the general idea. Rose’s eyes are glazed over, and her pupils flit back and forth like she is paging through a book. You snap your fingers in front of her face.

KANAYA: Rose

ROSE: Oh, Kanaya, my darling wife. I apologize for my lack of response; I was deep in thought.

KANAYA: I Can See That

ROSE: May I ask what brings you to interrupt me from my work? Not that I don’t love your presence, but the current situation necessitates the full use of my godly gifts.

KANAYA: Rose

KANAYA: It Is Four O Clock

ROSE: And?

KANAYA: In The Morning

KANAYA: Im Sure You Havent Eaten Since The Last Time I

KANAYA: Interrupted

You say this with a smirk on your face, but deep down, you worry. You worry that Rose will start to lose herself, like she did all those years ago. Like you can only assume the elder Strider did.

ROSE: I apologize… it’s just. There’s so much new possibility.

ROSE: And that’s ignoring the potential return of Terezi, or of some alternate versions of ourselves, or anything that we would have judged as patently ridiculous not three days ago.

She looks up at you, eyes bagged, and face tired from the strain. There is a single gray streak in her otherwise platinum blonde hair – a holdover, from the stress of the game and then her burgeoning ascension.

She’s even more gorgeous than the day you laid eyes on her in person, birthed anew from a gigantic green sun.

ROSE: I think we could end this, Kanaya, in one fell swoop.

KANAYA: I Want To Hear More

KANAYA: But Please Rose

KANAYA: Dinner First

It’s a miracle that either your wife or your moirail can take care of themselves without you around, but at least in the latter case, Meenah helps.

You sip your Alternian Bloody Mary as Rose picks at grubloaf and mashed potatoes. She doesn’t really need to eat, by virtue of being a god, and you only need to feed about once a week anyway, unless you are injured. That being said, sharing a meal is a necessary component of keeping your relationship intact, and Rose grounded in her humanity. After several minutes of comfortable silence, of Rose coming back down to the planet from her visions of likely futures, she speaks again.

ROSE: What do you consider a happy ending to all this?

KANAYA: Hmmm

You roll it over in your mind. You know what she is asking you, really. What do you value most?

KANAYA: I Wouldnt Consider It A Victory Without

You click your tongue in thought, thinking.

KANAYA: Trollkind Free And Jades Running The Caverns

KANAYA: The Batterwitch Deposed

KANAYA: Political Power Placed Back In The Hands Of Mortals

KANAYA: As Few Dead On Both Sides As Is Feasible

KANAYA: And You Our Daughter And I Happy And Safe

ROSE: We’re on the same page then, in the figurative sense. In the more literal sense, I’m on a lot of pages.

ROSE: Hundreds of thousands of potential realities, all arising from the tiniest diversions in course, but the same general outcomes, most of the time.

ROSE: In most one of us is killed, or most of the population of Earth C dies, or we never win at all.

ROSE: And in many more than I would like, eventually, another god takes political power.

ROSE: Another civil war between the gods erupts.

ROSE: And when that happens, some of us die.

ROSE: It’s almost guaranteed.

ROSE: Incredibly likely.

ROSE: I’ve been working overtime, pushing myself to the limit, because when Karkat returns with Tavros Crocker, our daughter, and Vriska Serket in tow, the whole world erupts with potential.

ROSE: The actions we take at that moment, and in the following week, shape the history of the world to come.

KANAYA: That Seems Like

KANAYA: A Great Deal Of Pressure To Bear

KANAYA: My Dear

KANAYA: I Am Not Immune To The Tempting Allure Of A Good Worry

KANAYA: As I Am Sure You Are Aware

Rose’s mouth quirks into the barest hint of a smile, and your heart swells a little.

ROSE: Oh, you barely understand how deep my well of awareness ventures.

ROSE: Far past the bones of antediluvian horrors some would call dragons, and we would call dinosaurs.

ROSE: So far down, in fact, one might even say it reaches to China.

KANAYA: What Is China Again

ROSE: Drat.

ROSE: My darling alien vampire wife, please do try to keep up.

ROSE: China, of course, is a long dead civilization that you have no reason to know would be on roughly the other side of the planet.

KANAYA: I See

KANAYA: That Is A Fairly Convincing Metaphor

KANAYA: Once I Have Been Blessed With The Irrelevant Cultural Knowledge Of A Long Dead Alien Society

KANAYA: All In The Name Of What Some Might Call

KANAYA: A Joke

ROSE: To be fair, given the presumption of the audience understanding the relevant cultural knowledge, it was a pretty good joke.

ROSE: Dave could have riffed with me on it. He would have, too.

Her face falls, and what was for a second the girl you bantered with, two snarky broads and their ridiculous horseshit, all those long years ago, is back to the hardened tactician holed up in her room.

KANAYA: How Are You Holding Up On That Front

ROSE: Not well, to say the least. The man, who at thirteen, joined me on a suicide mission merely so I wouldn’t die alone, is gone. One of my closest friends in the whole damn world, and what by all accounts is a brother, left his body behind.

ROSE: To go where, or to do what, I have no idea.

ROSE: And although I’m not actively looking for it…

ROSE: I can’t help but notice that in every probable future… Dave isn’t there.

ROSE: I think he’s…

Her breath hitches. Tears slip down her face, and you wrap her in a hug. You didn’t know Dave nearly as well as either Rose or Karkat did, but he was a close friend in the same way Terezi and Vriska were, back on the meteor trip all those years ago. Rose would have felt a lot more alone without him. You’ll grieve, in your own way, when you get the chance. For now, you have to be strong for your wife and your moirail.

ROSE: I think Dave’s… dead.

ROSE: At least to this world, and he isn’t coming back.

ROSE: God, how am I going to break this to Jade?

ROSE: She’s already barely keeping it together.

KANAYA: We Will Figure It Out

KANAYA: The Two Of Us

KANAYA: Darling

KANAYA: Im Right Here

KANAYA: And At Least For The Next Couple Hours

KANAYA: Im Not Going Anywhere.

She sobs, silently, into your waiting arms. She isn’t really letting it all go, she never does, the type to always keep control, even if its only the slightest bit. You know she’s afraid that if she let herself break down completely, she wouldn’t be able to put herself back together, that some essential part of being Rose Lalonde would be lost in the process. You think that’s bullshit, of course, she is infinitely stronger than she knows, but this isn’t the time. If the situation is as critical as Rose says it is, you’ll need her. Not her foresight, not her power, not her tactical mind – her.

You rub her the small of her back, whispering gently when the tears subside that you’ll return shortly, and remove the cushions from the seldom-used couch in her office, pulling out the daybed hidden within. You decaptchalogue some of the pillows and blankets you always keep on your person, arranging them nicely for a nap, and pull your tired wife to the bed for some much-needed rest. She leans against your chest, breathing in tune with the gentle hum of an ancient Alternian lullaby, and soon falls asleep in your arms.

It is midmorning, the clock on the wall says, when you wake. Rose is already up, a coffee in her hands, flipping through files in the same rumpled clothes she slept in. Half the tacked-up reports have been torn down, and in their place, several more pieces have been moved. Arranged in a circular pattern are several slightly concerning notes. ‘VRISKA SERKET – THIEF OF LIGHT – AT COMBAT PEAK’ and ROXY LALONDE – ROGUE OF VOID – MAIN OBSTACLE TO BATTERWITCH – CAPTURE ALIVE’ are connected with purple yarn. Tacked up, as well, are the notes you noticed earlier, with a string connecting them to ‘TAVROS CROCKER – POTENTIAL DOUBLE AGENT / ASSORTED SUBTERFUGE’. You, Meenah, and Karkat’s names are also up there, connected to a satellite image of Crocker’s flagship that Dave and Jade captured from low orbit a couple years back. Also on the wall, unconnected for the moment, is the file of one Swifer Eggmop, although you haven’t seen her in years. In the center, radiating taped-up strands of yarn to almost every document, a massive inquisitive squiggle (the proper term is a question mark, you remind yourself) is drawn directly on the wall.

She looks at you, a renewed fire in her eyes that makes you shiver, and only partially in the good way.

ROSE: Kanaya.

ROSE: Karkat will be here soon, with his juvenile charges in tow, and an old friend along for the ride.

ROSE: I believe I may have found a path forward.

ROSE: But I have to ask.

She pauses, and the fire in her eyes dies down to something that looks darker. A look that restarts the little itch, the wonder always lurking in the back of your mind, that says Rose is seeing lives as chess pieces again, her immortal body and limited omniscience distancing her from the realities of her choices. Choices that decide who lives and who dies. Choices that were she not literally divine, one might have condemned as playing god.

ROSE: What are you willing to sacrifice for our happy ending?