Homesick
by UbermenschBodhisattva

CHAPTER NINE

>John: Ask inappropriate questions about elves, like a dumby

John and Vriska wander through her memory, the sun beating down on the two of them and drenching their dreaming forms in sweat when combined with the humidity. She leads him down animal trails through the jungle on the cliffside, heading toward a landmark - a big stone tepui that juts up out of the earth, well above the treeline.

John: so pretend that i really don't know what an elf is, and fill me in like i don't know anything! because you don't seem like any elf i've ever heard of!

Vriska: Just what have you heard a8out elves, then?

John: that elves are tiny people who live under the hills, who perform acts of magical trickery and whimsy to help worthy people and mess with people who deserve it or cross you! and also probably leave little gifts for people around yuletide?

Vriska: Hahahaha! Sounds like whoever was in charge of lore on your homeworld was pretty terri8le at their jo8 then! A8out the only thing they got right is that we mess with people who cross us.

Vriska: Alright well, where shall I start as your magnanimous guide to the world of elves? I mean, it's as good a conversation as any to have as long as I'm sleeping, I guess!

>John: Medium Version

Soon, they're standing within sigh of the lower edge of the sheer sides of the tepui that form the mountain. Vriska starts poking around.

John: I mean, I'm probably not going anywhere! I don't really know how long it's going to be until my stardust clowntrance is over, but let's keep it a little shorter? how about something in the middle?

Vriska: Alright then. Let me start 8y saying what elves are. We are a proud race of warriors and scholars who trace our ancestry back to faerie kings and queens who once mingled with mortals near the 8eginning of time. We are smarter, faster, and generally just 8eeeeeeeetter than humans at most things; and we stay young for a long, long time too. Getting the picture so far?

John: *john rolls his eyes as he listens to her talk.* yeah, i think i'm getting the picture. it sounds like you're a lot more modest and humble than humans, too!

Vriska: Quiet you! *She gives him a savage, toothy grin.* Who's telling this story, me or you? You asked me to give you the lowdown, so here it is!

John: alright, alright. keep going, i guess.

Vriska: Thank you. Anyway a8out two thousand or three thousand years ago, we had an empire that spanned the stars - the greatest sorcerers and philosophers of our people - Phoenix Kings - 8ecame strong enough to destroy cities with one spell and 8uild all kinds of feats of mega-engineering - highways to connect up one end of a world with another, unassaila8le fortresses, glittering cities in the sky - the works!

John: like sanctum, you mean.

Vriska: Very perceptive John. Looks like you're paying closer attention than I thought. Yes, like Sanctum.

Vriska: We didn't found Sanctum, but we did a lot of the legwork involved in making it what it is today.

Vriska: Or my ancestors did, anyway! Like I said, it's 8ncient history now. The Empire fell apart in a 8ig civil war when the Phoenix Lords couldn't stand each other any more - too many different ideas about how the universe should be ruled, I guess.

Vriska: Whole worlds 8urned to cinders in the fight. There aren't a lot of us left.

Vriska: Soooooooo that's elves, I guess!

John: that was... a lot to take in actually, for a kind of medium version. wow.

John: that's pretty rough vriska. i don't know about empires and civil wars or anything but... i guess i'm sorry about your people.

Vriska: *She fusses around with a rocky outcropping.* Yeah well... them's the 8r8ks. Honestly, they pro8a8ly got what was coming to them. At the end of the day, as strong as it seemed like the Phoenix Lords were at the time, they didn't act like they were playing for keeps, and they couldn't stay in the game.

John: *john coughs uncomfortably and decides to change the subject.*

John: so... what are you doing? you seem like you're looking for something in particular?

Vriska: You're right. *She presses down on a bit of rock, and a small opening appears as part of the face of the tepui in front of them melts away.* There's a bolthole I used to have on this world. Compared to some of the places I've visited lately, it's kind of a crumby little rock, but it's a nice memory, and if I know which memory this actually is, there might be something neat worth showing you down this way.

Vriska: *She leads him down into the mountainside, into pitch darkness.*

John: uh... hey, i can't see in the dark.

Vriska: Ooooooooh right! I guess I forgot that humans can't do that.

John: actually... maybe i can? i'm kind of ghosty...

John: *slowly his eyes adjust, and as already established in a scene he doesn't know about, he can in fact see in the dark.

Vriska: *Vriska leads him further down until a wide space opens up in front of them. They stand on a fairly wide rocky ledge, below which is a still glassy pool of dark water. Floating out a ways from the shore is a sleek 8oat that looks to 8e of the same construction as John's armor, and the pir8 ships that raided John's home island - smooth, and impossibly dura8le, with gossamer fin-like sails, and what John can now identify are engine exhausts on the rear end.*

Vriska: Yessssssss! John, meet 8rigantine. She's my childhood skiff. Whenever I got a chance to get away from my home city, I'd sail her all over.

Vriska: *She smiles a genuinely happy smile.*

John: *it's a little infectious, and he can't help but smile back.*

John: so i guess you've always been pretty adventurous even since you were a kid, huh?

John: speaking of which, how old are you, anyway? no offense, but i kind of thought you were a kid or a teen or something right now!

Vriska: Holy shit? Don't you know you're never supposed to ask a lady her age? Pretty rude, John!

Vriska: 8ut no, I'm an adult like you.

Vriska: Come on, let's 8oard. Might as well do something exciting during this dream.

Vriska: *She leads him over to a nearby stone, where a rope is secured between the ship and the ledge, and jumps up, running along the rope toward the boat.*

Vriska: Untie the mooring when you reach the ship! If you're kind of ghosty, I'm 8etting you can just fly over, right?

John: *he watches her run along the rope, wondering how much of it's elf fastness, and how much of it is just that it's a dream.* um, oh yeah! sure.

John: *he waits for her to reach the ship, and unties the rope, carrying it up onto the deck with him. it's not a big craft.*

John: so this ship was all yours when you were just a kid, huh? i guess you said earlier you were some kind of princess?

Vriska: Yep. It was a gift from my auntie. Just a little something to help me start 8uilding the skills I'd need to make it in the world, y'know?

John: nice present. i know i said i was a prince, but i don't think i ever got anything quite as nice as this for a birthday.

Vriska: I almost certainly got nicer presents from an o8jective perspective, 8ut 8rigantine is proooooooo8a8ly my favorite.

>Vriska: S8il

John follows Vriska to the helm of the craft, which aside from a wheel to steer the craft, is dominated by a control panel full of glowing buttons, switches, and sensors in an unfamiliar language, that John guesses is probably some kind of elvish. Unlike the language in Sanctum, it does not accommodate his mind. Something brushes past John, and he startles as he realizes it is an indistinct humanoid shape. A scant handful of others are starting to move around on the deck, preparing it to launch, as Vriska prepares the craft for departure from her place at the helm. They do not seem to be other sleepers - they are more like faint and shadowy impressions of others she remembers on the ship.

Overhead, a canopy of shimmering sparks appears over the ship, and the fin-like sails flap and roar to life with an ethereal wind John cannot feel, coursing with reddish ripples of white light that race along the hexagonal segments that make it up. He gawks, walking down onto the deck, and shrinking away to let the automaton-like shades impressed by the theatrics, and looks over to Vriska. She grins as the ethereal wind kicks up her hair, chest heaving with excited breaths. He heads back up to the helm, and comes to stand near her.

John: alright, vriska. you got me, i am actually impressed. very impressed! this is cool!

Vriska: *She does not even seem to notice him, deeply into what she's doing as the ship lurches, and starts to move.*

John: uh, vriska? *he snaps his fingers next to her face.* are you there?

Vriska: *Snapped out of her reverie, Vriska shakes her head, and looks over to him, startling, but then relaxing just as fast.*

Vriska: Oh, right. Right. Heeeeeeeey, John.

John: what was that?

Vriska: Good dream, I guess.

John: i guess so.

John: so... how are we getting out of this cave?
John: is there a back entrance somewhere that leads out to the ocean?

Vriska: No, there is not. Get ready; We're going down.

Vriska: :)

The ship begins to move down into the waterline, and John rushes to the railing, looking down as the ship sinks.

John: D:

John: uuuuuuuuuuh, Vriska?

>Dave: Recap

Dave doesn't spend long on the roof swinging his sword around. He doesn't technically have a lot on his plate, but based on what Roxy said about everything that's going on, he should probably at least start snooping around and figuring out what the hell is going on. He briefly recaps what he knows about their predicament, both the pros and the cons.

Dave: *number one theyre not completely real*

Dave: *the consequences of this are mysterious so far other than the fact that it makes it so that he has a hard time getting the government to pay him*

Dave: *it also makes it so he has an easier time sneaking around*

Dave: *number two devas aren't jazzed about them being around*

Dave: *so while they will attack they dont seem to be actually too keen on killing or capturing*

Dave: *the one they fought was probably just*

Dave: *playing around with them?*

Dave: *dunno*

Dave: *maybe testing is a better word*

Dave: *didnt his name say something about testing or something*

Dave: *how did they like*

Dave: *figure out his name anyway*

Dave: *he didnt say it out loud or anything he sort of just*

Dave: *walked up slowly and down smash*

Dave: *pretty much wavedashed right out of heaven and into their hearts*

Dave: *or more like into their asses*

Dave: *he doesnt really know where hes getting these memes from they sort of just are like*

Dave: *get beamed right out of memespace and into his noggin*

Dave: *like a kiss from a deva*

Dave: *mwah*

Dave: *okay hes getting distracted here*

Dave: *number two*

Dave: *wait fuck*

Dave: *he already said number two*

Dave: *or thought number two*

Dave: *heres number three*

Dave: *he figured out pretty early on that he can sort of imagine things up here on sanctum*

Dave: *at first he figured it was probably just some radical magic power he just bumbled bass-ackwards into after some kind of epiphany on the pirate ship while he was getting ogled by space pirates or something*

>Dave: Imagine up some unreal air

Dave takes a run toward the edge of the roof, and jumps, pulling a skateboard out of the ethers, the likes of which he's seen some folks a little younger than him using. It's a little like surfboarding, actually, so it suits him just fine. And then, he escapes from above, grinding off the edge of the building, and taking a flying leap, taking his bogus skateboard up with him. He aims for the cluster of tenement stacks where he's been renting his apartment, preparing to investigate.

Behind him, a tall slender figure stands up on another roof, watching him disappear into the sky through red lenses.

>Dave: Regard location of residence

Dave: okay so i dont know much about magic or devae except for basically the summary that i just got finished giving roxy

Dave: but maybe i can find some clues for rose to study later

Dave: sounds like shes got the whole sorcery investigation thing on lock with creepy uncle guy

Dave: note to self find out more about creepy uncle guy and realm lord profiles in general

Dave: anyway i can probably go visit her via the stairs

Dave: well just have to keep it short i guess so we dont incite another impromptu wrestling match with an even angrier even hunkier and more naked warrior god

Dave: next one will probably just be like a sumo guy lets be honest here

Dave: slappin his big feet down as he sort of squats at us menacingly in a taintchafingly tight loincloth

Dave: motherfuckers expectin us to all throw down with him but we just book it out of there again

Dave: *dave continues to talk to himself pretty much the same way until he glides up and lands on the wall of the apartment*

Dave: *hes pretty sure this is the right block but it definitely doesnt look exploded*

Dave: *he looks around*

Dave: ok so i guess the wall is fine

Dave: *he flips through the wall so hes standing on the inside of it leaving behind a grody ectoplasm blot on both sides of the wall and walks down the other side into his apartment

Dave: *the light turned off automatically like it was supposed to after they left the room but*

Dave: i guess he just kind of

Dave: came back in and tidied the place up after he served us so hard

Dave: damn serving us up our own asses and then tidying the place

Dave: this guy should give up being a space cop and become somebodys butler

Dave: damn you could eat off of this floor dude was thorough

Dave: guess i probably better report back to hq and give rose the 10 4 on this then

>Dave: Stairs

Dave disappears from his apartment down the abyssal stairs.

A blot of darkness drips out of the wall from the puddle he left.