Joey vs the Jam, a "Sad"stuck fic
By linguisticSpaceship

Chapter 1

It was foggy outside, and school had been cancelled. Jude was sick, and Roxy wasn't there yet either. Joey had woken up alone with a sour taste in her mouth. On such a day as this, there’s only so many things you can do. But you can only browse the internet and play games for so long before getting bored and finding yourself in the kitchen. Joey was alone, but most of all she was strangely starving.

Browsing the cupboards, she only found crackers and spices and spoiled meats and fresh cobwebs. There was nothing to eat, and Joey needed a bite of something before Roxy arrived with a McDonald's happy meal. A painful sigh is let out, but only seconds later her eyes were glistening of lust and desire- a plump jar of jam was adjacent to her, and she knew what to do.

The satisfying "pop!" of the lid gave our starving Joey goosebumps. Thoughts of her covered in jam erased the less meaningful memories and thoughts in her mind, leaving a sticky residue where they had been. Joey, after a deep breath, stuck her fat finger into the dark pit of the jar. She had the urge to cover her face as a deadly cocktail of tears and blushing were on full public display. But why would that matter? No one would see what she was doing. There was no reason to worry. As far as she knew, there were only two things on this Earth: her and the jam.

Joey slowly pulled out, savoring the wet jam on her finger. In an act of gluttony, she shoved her finger down her mouth and started to suck and suck, and by mistake she had started to bite. When all of it was sucked down, Joey pulled her finger out of her mouth and noticed something horrifying. She had bitten her finger off.

Joey looks at the time. How long does she have until Roxy arrives? Turns out that she spent quite a while with her jam escapade, and Roxy is coming home right about… oh shit, it's now isn't it?

Footsteps. Joey scrambles for a bandage to stop the bleeding. Squeaking metal. She grabs a towel to clean the blood on the floor. The turning of a doorknob. Joey wears a fake smile. The smell of gin fills the air.

JOEY: haha hi roxy!!!

ROXY: omg hi joey how r u doin?

JOEY: oh i'm just jammin

JOEY: (shit)

ROXY: i got ur happy meal here. is jude still sick?

JOEY: yeah he's still sick. it's a shame.

ROXY: awww… thats too bad!

Roxy blushes for a second, her head pushing down towards the floor.

ROXY: wait wtf

Roxy points to the floor. Joey seemed to miss a spot.

ROXY: is that blud???

ROXY: i mean blood

JOEY: what? no no it’s just… uhm.

ROXY: u werent drinking the wine were u

JOEY: no, i would never do that!

ROXY: good grl

ROXY: what is it then

JOEY: it’s just some…

Joey squints a bit more to be sure. It’s blood, alright. She was hoping it was just some jam she didn’t clean up, but she was determined to have every last drop of it. It being leftover jam just wouldn’t make any sense.

JOEY: it’s… jam!

Great lie, Joey. How the hell can things go wrong now? Yeah, you probably know.

ROXY: orly?

ROXY: man jam sounds like the JAM right now hehehe

ROXY: can i have some

Yup, there it is.

JOEY: uhhh… it’s all gone!

ROXY: so if i were to open it up it would be completely empty

JOEY: yes!!!

ROXY: yeh im not gonna believe that for one bit

Roxy has her eyes on the jar of jam. She steps towards it. Joey twirls her hair.

ROXY: u didn’t eat this did u joey?

ROXY: this isn’t jam

ROXY: this is flesh eating bacteria

JOEY: what?

ROXY: yeah this is flesh eating bacteria

ROXY: see? jam

ROXY: jade’s atom munchies

ROXY: ok well maybe flesh eating was sorta wrong

ROXY: but having a little bit of this stuff will make all of the atoms that make up ur body disappear in like

ROXY: idk what does it say on the back

ROXY: 4 mins and 13 secs?

ROXY: hehehe secs

ROXY: funi

ROXY: funny*

ROXY: hey joey where are u

Roxy looks around. Joey is nowhere to be seen. She was here, about 4 minutes and 13 seconds ago. It’s like she just vanished out of thin air!

ROXY: JOEY! are you around here?

No response.

ROXY: wow i think i got the house all to myself

ROXY: this is gonna be sweet <3

Roxy heads upstairs, and knocks on Jude’s bedroom door. Jude answers the door in haste, and Roxy storms in, kissing him on the lips. She wasn’t worried about getting sick, especially when said sickness was only imaginary. Jude smiles sweetly, his eyes glistening with an apparent passion for violence. For as far as he was concerned, him and Roxy were the only two people left on this Earth. Jude views the bottle of Megestrol acetate on his shelf and his grin widens.

ROXY: hey so i got a gift for u

ROXY: now that we’ve succeeded

Roxy pulls out a knife with a heart on the handle. Jude sweats, before giving his hand to Roxy. This earth was made for each other.