Homesick
by UbermenschBodhisattva

CHAPTER TWELVE

>Vriska: Crash this ship with no survivors!

Vriska does not do that. Instead, as John panics at the railing, she holds steady on course, heading down into the abyss - in as many senses of the word as is probably possible. First, there is the sinking of the ship into the waters of this cavern. They slowly rise up around the vessel, and while the field of energy surrounding the ship negates the drowning and soaking power that water and Nothing have on mortal forms, the waters of the cave float up around them nevertheless, casting everything in a strange light. Second, as the ship floats downward into the waters, and everything takes on the surreally bent waterlight, they are travelling through the realm of dreams and memories - the Abyss from whence the Asurae came unbidden. Third, even if it were not a dream, Vriska's skiff is no mere ship. It is a voidship.

John: *john looks around in wonder as the ship sinks deeper into darkness, running to the other bow, and emoting excitedly kind of like this:*

John: !

John: !!!!!!!!

John: *he looks over at the helm, where vriska is in the zone, and walks over, grinning.

John: vriska... this is a magic ship isn't it.

Vriska: Good guess, John. It's not only a magic ship, it's a voidship. They're very tricky to make. It's something of a lost art, actually, but my people - my city - we remem8er it. We still know how to make them cheaply and easily.

Vriska: Legends say that even 8efore the war, we were a8le shipwrights, with a special dispens8ion for navig8ing the intractable waterways of the A8yss.

Vriska: 8ut since then, my ancestors perfected it. It's how we stay off the radar of nosy jackasses like the Realm Lords and the Emperor, and stay out of trou8le until we're ready to 8e in it.

Vriska: *She 8eams. Girl can never resist a chance to 8oast. Why 8other when you can live up to the hype?*

Vriska: As a matter of fact, come to think of it, there's an off chance that if we're preposterously unlucky, we could get plowed right out of this dream by my real ship.

Vriska: Which would pro8a8ly wake us up? *She shrugs.* Ah well. That'd be like a one in a million chance.

John: Alright, I know I said I was impressed before about the ship and the stories and everything but this is actually really cool. So... this ship actually sails around underwater instead of on it?

Vriska: Not just under the water - under the universe.

John: huh?

Vriska: Eh, don't worry a8out it. I'm not going to lecture you on metaphysics. My sister might if she were around, so you're in luck. Just think of it like a 8ig ocean that is under every world. My magic ship can sail to any world in the universe through it, or from any 8ody of water into any other.

John: now see, that is just the sort of condescending explanation that my primitive barbarian brain can understand. thanks.

Vriska: I don't like to see myself as a person who makes things too easy for the weak, 8ut you're welcome, primitive 8ar8arian John.

Neither of them says anything for a minute. Then, they start laughing at the same time.

Vriska: Hahahahahahahaha

John: hehehehehehe

Vriska: *Vriska relaxes for a minute, hair floating behind her in the Nothing surrounding them. Her face softens.*

Vriska: Th8nks for snapping me out of that lousy dream. I don't like to owe people favors, 8ut when you owe one, you owe one.

Vriska: This is a much 8etter memory to 8e dwelling on while I'm dormant.

John: what? you don't owe me anything, vriska.

John: it's just what friends are for.

Vriska: I decide when I owe some8ody one, so don't try and spurn my gratitude, human. *She smirks.*

Vriska: Also, where do you get off calling us friends? You'd never met me in your life. We were in a fight for our lives and you wouldn't fight 8ack until you figured out we were dreaming. That's not friendly, that's dangerous. You're going to get yourself killed if you're ever in an actual skirmish like that.

John: that's... true! i guess i just find that the best policy is to try and be a friend to everyone. it makes life go a lot smoother.

Vriska: Well, if you want my advice, which you should, 8e more careful. You can't reason with everyone in this universe. When people find out who you really are, some people are going to h8 you no matter what you try and do to make them happy, 8n't no two ways about it.

John: hmm... well no offense but that's shitty advice. i think i'm going to go right on trying, and you can try your way, and we'll see whose way works out better for them in the end.

John: hey! look over there!

John: that's my island!

John: i'd recognize that silhouette anywhere!

>Nicolas Caledonius: Get back to your other associate.

Cacophony Notes
These are Notes between you and @twinArmageddons
TA: hey 2o ii got tho2e mobii2 2ent two the dead drop thii2 morniing and iim gue22iing they got two where they were 2uppo2ed two be?

TA: the network between them ha2 all the 2ecuriity feature2 you a2ked for 2o you 2houldn't have any unwanted or uniinviited gue2t2 two your 2uper 2ecret conver2atiion2.

TA: ii mean, unle22 theoretiically, that 2omeone el2e wa2 2omehow a better programmer than ii am

TA: 2o yeah.

TA: you 2houldn't have any.

TA: dude are you there?

TT: Yes, hello.

TT: Apologies, my attention is especially divided with this latest project.

TT: Lots of balls in the air, plates spinning

TA: don't 2ay iiron2 iin the fiire don't 2ay iiron2 iin the fiire don't 2ay iiron2 iin the fiire

TT:Lots of

TA: do not do it

TT: Wheels in motion.

TA: thank you.

TA: you know you can be a really iintolerable priick 2ometiime2 2o thank you for managiing two re2traiin your2elf for once.

TT: You are, as always, welcome.

TT: In any event, thank you for setting up the network. I trust your workmanship, and of course, I'm not the sort of person who ought to be fiddling around with the settings behind the latest gadgets.

TT: So thanks for humoring an old man.

TA: oh what a load of bull2hiit. we both know you're a2 tech 2avvy a2 anyone and hone2tly wiith all your realm lord power2 you could probably techniically make a 2tronger network anyway.

TA: 2o ii'm not really 2ure why you're botheriing me.

TA: a2 a matter of fact, for a guy who liike2 hii2 priivacy 2o much, you 2ure do liike two meddle wiith people.

TA: alway2 fu22iing and buggiing and meddliing. what'2 your deal?

TT: Relax Sollux.

TT: Maybe I gave you the job because I know you like to do it, and I don't mind owing you a favor.

TT: Isn't that a sufficient reason for a Realm Lord to offer a job to one of his more talented constituents?

TT: Maybe you are as insufferable as you make yourself out to be? Is it too much to ask for a couple of intolerable fellows to carry on an unusually tiresome conversation with each other once in a while?

TT: Maybe I am not such a control freak that I feel the need to manage the minutiae of all those irons in the fire you brought up myself?

TT: Maybe I just value you as a person?

TA: ok. well, thank2 then iif any of tho2e thiing2 ii2 true. 2orry for flyiing off the handle there.

TT: It's no trouble. I always come into our conversations prepared.

TT: Unfortunately, I'm probably about to ruin your day.

TT: Tonight is one of those rare occasions things might get too hot to handle.

TA: how hot?

TT: I've got a wicked headache about it.

TA: great.

TT: I was hoping you might bring your other set of talents to bear tonight.

TA: FUCK.

TA: you know ii hate doiing what ii wa2 made two do more than about anythiing el2e iin the world. ii2n't there 2omeone el2e that you can get two be your stooge twonight?

TT: If there were, I wouldn't ask you to do it. The fact of the matter is, I'm hedging my bets.

TT: Not that I am now, or have ever been, a betting man.

TT: This whole operation is very important to me. I can't say for a matter of fact that I will even need your help. But I need to be at this event tonight, and my danger senses are tingling.

TT: Having an Artillery Devil on the playing field will be a useful advantage even if it turns out you don't have to do anything and it turns out this bad feeling has nothing to do with my plans.

TT: And you are the only Artillery Devil who is also my friend.

TT: I'm sending you the invitation now.

TT: Come. Or don't. It's up to you.

TT: I hope I see you there, Sollux.

>Dave: Be the other Strider

Dave cannot be the other Strider for a plethora of reasons. The first of which is that he is currently sleeping with all the skillfulness of a stone. The second of which is that the other Strider is already busy being himself. The third is that we're still not doing that.

In any case, Dirk is busy being himself at the moment, which as anyone who knows him knows, is what he always does at all times.

Another thing he's being is a combination of weary and pissed, which is a similarly common state for him. He stands in a dim garage, across from a huge furnace and parallel to a roughly humanoid machine, looking at Dave, who as previously established, is out like a light, drooling on his own chin, an angry welt forming on the back of his head. Fortunately for him, he doesn't appear bleeding or anything, and doesn't seem to be concussed.

Dirk: Dude, get out here.

Dirk: I know you are a hundred percent behind this.

Dirk: Look at this ridiculously cool dude you just brained for no reason.

Dirk: No, come over here. Stop sneering at me from the shadows, you're not a goddamn cat.

Dirk: You fucking knew this guy was my brother, look at his hair.

Dirk: Why would you do this?

An extraordinarily cranky looking young man emerges from the shadows, dressed in a black work shirt, pants kept from falling off his thin body by a pair of suspenders, carrying a crowbar. He has sort of an androgynous appearance, with smooth blonde hair. Actually, he looks kind of like a young David Bowie. Or Tilda Swinton. Not that those names mean anything to Dirk. But they are meaningful to us.

Caliborn: HE WAS TRESPASSING IN MY SECRET GARAGE. AND IN ADDITION. IT WAS DARK. HE GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM FOR SNOOPING AROuND WITHOUT ANY LIGHTS ON. IF THIS WAS YOuR MAN CAVE. WHEREIN YOu PERFORMED YOuR MECHANICAL WORK AND EXPERIMENTS. FAR FROM THE PRYING EYES AND CLOYING PRAISE OF YOuR SISTER. YOu WOuLD DEFEND IT WITH THE SAME RIGHTEOuS FERVOR.

Dirk: *Dirk facepalms with both hands, trying not to think about what a headache Dave is going to have when he comes to.*

Dirk: You are fucking impossible.